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Evolution of Marriage

stages of evolution

Proud to be Straight

Modern Era, Modern Times, New Era, Modern Life, Modernity, Era of Fashion & show off.
Modern Era, New Age, Modern World Lifestyles & its Side Effects and Benefits.

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Nudity of Women in Public Places

Opinions of Women & Men on nudity of Women

ألواح الميلامين في دبي ، الإمارات العربية المتحدة.

مهندس ألواح الميلامين في الامارات.

المهندس عيشرت حسين محمد من شركة أمصار لتصنيع الأخشاب في دبي ، الإمارات العربية المتحدة.

في منطقة جبل علي الصناعية في دبي.

( For Medium duration videos about Islamic misconception please click this following Link...).

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJxzJDRryG8RPcEH9NSBuVA9nTelZ36q0

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3sgaKuBgLG2_nqoBuofuxiRBmvz8u-9R&si=crr0EEYV8B6d3uhT

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Melamine Aurangabad MDF Machines  Engineer Dubai ishrat hussain 00971502788707- enggishrat@rediffmail.com

Aurangabad Melamine MDF Machines  Engineer Dubai ishrat hussain 00971502788707 -enggishrat@rediffmail.com

kaasiyaat `aariyaat (dressed but naked)

Dressed but yet naked

The greatest illusion of dress,

Deception at its very best,

Clothing so tight its completely revealing, 

Defeating the purpose of concealing.

The man seems to be proud,

Standing next to the woman, so bold and loud.

Her body is there for everyone to see,

Yet covered up she believes herself to be. 

Every shape is visible to all,

The exact body type, large or small.

Each curve displayed without a care,

Open, vivid, beauty for everyone to share.

The clothing seems to serve little purpose,

So tight that there’s not even a space,

And so it is the uncovering of the sacred,

Even though it’s believed that they are not naked. 

The prophecy uttered by the Beloved Prophet (PBUH) ages ago,

Has now become so true,

Just look around and you’ll be witness to this show,

It should be so clear to me and you. 

I wish you could see the truth my sister,

That you don't need to appeal to any mister,

Your body should be kept protected,

It's a treasure that should always be respected. 

The cover is not at all meant to harm,

There’s very good reason to conceal your natural charm,

Your beauty is something special,

And modest dressing is the best to instil. 

I wish that you could see the truth,

And then you will understand your full worth.

As one of the minor signs before the Day of Judgment, Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) mentioned: “There will be women who will be dressed but they will be naked. Their heads will be like the humps of camels. They will not enter Jannah (Paradise) and will not even smell the scent of Jannah while it can be smelt from a far distance.” [Sahih Muslim]

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) having said this: Two are the types of the denizens of Hell whom I did not see: people having flogs like the tails of the ox with them and they would be beating people, and the women who would be dressed but appear to be naked, who would be inclined (to evil) and make their husbands incline towards it. Their heads would be like the humps of the (bukht) camel inclined to one side. They will not enter Paradise and they would not smell its odour whereas its odour would be smelt from such and such distance.

[Muslim Book 024, Number 5310]

Today we have knowledge, we are well educated and we are becoming more modern day after the day.

In ancient ages we humans were living on the earth as other animals living on this planet,  we were subject to the natural calamities and seasons, slowly we gained knowledge of science which offered us protection and more opportunities of survival and not only that but the knowledge in science also made us most modern humans living on the earth.
Becoming modern, up-to-date, and fashionable must not harm us in anyway but in becoming modern, we have forgotten that we are part of the society.
Actually, in the past we were living in societies, we had religions, we had family chiefs, we had kings, and feuds, not all these things were necessary for us but some of them were by products of our societies, the formation of society was a necessity of the human race in deep past, the society gave us security, a feeling of belonging and it gave us support and the things of our needs, but it has a drawback also, it gave us kings and governments, it made us slave and subordinate or subjects, there was another thing in the past in humans, and it was religion, the religion was also necessity of the time,  it gave us hope and solace in our pains and it gave us courage and unity in the time of wars and battles, we survived wars and battles, we survived the crusades, the unity and hope and courage given by our religion was necessary for us for survival.
After conquering all the world we humans focused on the science and technology and this new era gave us protection and wealth and then we started enjoying the life as we had more money and spare time and resources, as we entered in the modern era we learned science and we became less and less dependent on religion, because religion was seen as restrictive and an hurdle in our daily life, and because it was illogical at times with our new scientific facts, therefore we abandoned the religions.
I am not advocating for any religion here, only I have tried to show you the pros and cons of the religion and the society and its norms, if we lose our religion, then we will expose us to a very danger situation, we are exposing ourselves to the extinction, our evolutionary process has still not finished with using the services of the religion, in the past we survived the crusaders only because our unity due to religion, but now in modern times, we have lost the religion and thus we lost the unity and our courage to face the wars, now new nations and those people who were naked and hungry a century ago are now making missiles and nuclear arms and they will force us to the mouth of extinction as those people are having religions and unity and we do not have these qualities due to our modernity.

Benefits of Religions: They have had social survival value in the past, and they continue to provide individual and personal benefits today, and these benefits are the source of their continuing numerical strength.

Religions provide communities of mutual support.
They overcome existential isolation and alienation, giving people a meaning for their lives and a sense of their place in the universe and nature.
They provide remedies for grief at the death of loved ones, and for the fear of one’s own death.
They combat the feeling of helplessness in a threatening world full of crime, conflict and disaster.

These benefits show up in the form of better health and longer life.

The religion had served its purpose in the past and now it is just like a vestigial entity in our modern life style, the religion was selected by the evolution process as a tool for survival, it had advantages, and it served its purpose very efficiently, and therefore today what we are, it saved us in the past from sorrows and it offered solace and hope, it gave us unity in the battles and wars, and it gave us courage to face the harsh life situations, but today it is seen that we do not want any religion because we are now independent, we now know the facts in science and we are more wealthy and rich and resourceful and we want to celebrate the life and we want to enjoy the life as now we do not have any fear.

Extinction of the European Race

https://www.quora.com/What-is-atheism-good-for/answer/Ishrat-Hussain-7


fall-of-european-race.html


christianity-non-christian-europe-young-people-survey-religion



Becoming modern and fashionable is not at all a bad thing, but our modern life style has made us a machine, everybody need to earn money, the rich and wealthy men and women both work as heads of their own factories and businesses and the middle and poor class people too work to earn money as workers and laborers, the men and women both need working, this need has rendered less time for family, As the institution of the marriage has lost its meanings due to atheism and living in relationship or cohabiting without marriages has gained popularity in the society  gave rise to tough competition among men and women for landing into a good relationship with a wealthy and healthy partner, therefore the women are paying more emphasis on their beauty and looks to attract more men and men are competing hard to acquire a fair and beautiful girlfriend thus the society has become a market where wealth and beauty only is the currency, therefore the women are paying less and less time to the family and children, the women are giving more time to fashions and makeup and less time for the family and children, therefore the children are suffering from various psychological disorders even if the parents are determined to raise their children in better conditions, this effect is responsible for lower talents in children in Europe and western countries, the women are under pressure of better looks and obsessed with the fashions, the money is difficult to earn, therefore there is tremendous competition in the markets, therefore the barbers and tailors i.e. the fashion designers and musicians and dancers are daily innovating new trends and the fashion obsessed women and girls and even men are following that nonsense in the name of modernity, I am certainly not opposed to fashions and modernity, simply I want that we must follow our conscience, we must not follow the new trends created by the barbers and tailors, they are creating fashions out of competition and they are earning money in the competitive markets by putting gullible common men and women on the ramp of nudity in the name of fashion.

The attraction of women’s body is only for the men folk, it is not for the women at all, the men have hormones in their blood which has psychological effects in the male brain, which makes male brain feel a woman’s body attractive, and creates sexual fantasies in male brains even by looking towards legs and feet or by even natural body smell of a girl, if someone is lacking those hormones then he does not find women attractive at all, this effect is well-known to the scientific community and there are special drugs available for the doctors, these drugs are used in the prisons to calm down the male inmates, and these drugs are administered on the convicts of sexual crimes while they are on bail or are permitted a leave from the prison on paroles, in the influence of the hormone therapy those criminals do not feel any attraction and urge to see the women, the women body is unattractive to them just like a bucket or refrigerator is for us.
The women does not have the same hormones in their blood streams in required quantities to produce same effects of attraction towards women’s body or sexual fantasies, therefore the view of nude woman cannot creates arousal in women and the women cannot turn-on by looking towards semi naked or scarcely clad women.
Use of Chemicals on Prisoners

The Women are not at all get aroused by the view of naked body of either men or women just like boys of age below 10 years are not interested or get attracted towards nude women bodies, because the boys of this age do not have the required male hormones in their blood streams.
These are the men and the businesses who used women’s body to advertise and market their products, the businesses and the market is dominated by male operators and women are just used as eye candies.
On the other hand the women are also cannot turn-on by viewing nude male body, therefore there are no nude males in the advertisements, even males do not like to view a naked male body at all.
 I am not talking about gays here, but the normal straight men do not feel any sexual attraction by viewing of a nude man, in the same way the women do not feel any attraction in the viewing of nude woman, but we both can notice the beauty of a woman and handsomeness of a man.
The fashion trends and short outfits for the women are also supported by some feminist organizations, the feminist argue that the women are free to wear what they want to wear, and short and tight outfits are seen as the freedom from male dominance and a sign of independence, and some say that the women are wearing the scarcely clad dresses in the reaction or in the protest against women’s oppression and imposed laws on women by the society dominated by men or by religions.
Which kind of protest is this ? You are stripping off, You are presenting yourselves as free eye candy for the men, you are walking in the markets semi-nude and it is very pleasurable experience for the men to have such a view and that too totally free, the men were day dreaming this situation of view since millenniums in the past but they could not make women nude in the public places in the light of the sun, but today the stupidity of the women made it possible, and nudity a reality and that is free also, the men are happy to see them nude for free of cost. Have you seen any men protesting by stripping off in public ?, have you seen any man wearing shorts and working in office ?.

why do women wear revealing outfits?


Women are not attracted by male or female nudity


Women are not Attracted by any Nudity


Hormones Change Thinking


You can see today, even in Dubai, that Philippines girls and Indian girls are walking in the markets semi-nude, the Filipinos are the girls who have achieved the pinnacles of nudity in Arab countries, not only these girls and women but most other women themselves want to be nude and scarcely clad in the public places by their own choices and men are no more forcing them to become an eye candy for the men folks.
The mothers are dressing their baby girls in T-shirts and pants and cutting their hairs like boys, and there is no differences in girls and boys during their growing years, this situation has created orientation problems in the growing infants and toddlers and adolescents, therefore today there are growth in LGBT population in the westernized societies.
The growing children cannot see a gender differences in his or in her friends due to clothing and hairstyles, and when they reach the adolescent age or adulthood, they have already suffered from orientation problems, due to confusion in the growing years about gender, a confusion created by the fashion of boys and girls dress is same and the toddlers are not sure about their genders up-to very late years due to dress similarity.
The Women are so obsessed with the fashion and good looking that they pass their most of the time in front of mirror and they wear makeups and the cosmetics industry is a silent robber in the market, the women even overlook their children and they cannot give time to the innocent toddlers, the women are behaving like crazy to impress the men, The modern girls and women are constantly busy in trying to impress the men and in doing so they are behaving crazy so it is difficult to distinguish between which are whores and prostitutes and which are chaste ladies, they are trying to impress their boyfriends, their boyfriends do not valve any girl, they are under the influence of masculine hormones only but the women cannot understand this and they try to become more and more attractive, the women and girls wear the makeups and their beauty is 99 % fake, it is the makeup which makes them beautiful, 99 % of women are fake beautiful this is a fact.
The women are trying to attract the men by different things; they decorate themselves with jewelries, tattoos, sexy footwear, and even surgery to correct the defects in their faces, and roaming semi nude in public places, Whom they are attracting ?, they are attracting the men only, the other women are indifferent about the nakedness of those women.
The modern girls and women are constantly busy in trying to impress the men and they are behaving crazy so it is difficult to distinguish between which are whores and prostitutes and which are chaste ladies.

Nudity of women is a conspiracy

The modern trends have affected the men little, they are not nude and they only have hairstyles and tattoos, then women are the most effected by the modernity.
The magicians use nude women to distract the viewers from their covert acts, and the businesses use feminine nudity to sell their products and the cheerleaders or cheer girls are always nude to entertain the male audiences, this is not the honor of the women, the ancient society had imposed dress codes on the women not for restricting them but to honor them and to protect them, it were not the religions who imposed such dress codes but the religions appeared late after the societies which were predating the religions, the religions simply followed and maintained the society's norms, the brothers, the fathers, the well-wishers of the women had imposed the dress codes on women long before religions were ever born, the religions only maintained those impositions as the society of fathers and brothers wanted this ! 

The modernity and westernization of the societies has drastic effects on the family,  the marriages became short lived, the relationships became unstable, and the divorces and breakups are just like fragile and brittle things, there is lack of trust and immorality in the society, lack of charity and poverty in the public, family is a dream and infants and toddlers and adolescents are suffering from thousands of psychological disorders, this situation is responsible for deterioration in the human qualities and lower IQ and poor quality of the people, atheism has stripped off the Europeans from their intellects and now they are the most endangered species on the earth as their atheism has evaporated their unity and their chances of survival, now other nations and other races are gaining technology and making nukes and missiles, the evolution will play its role as per its course of action, now we have to wait and watch and we must protect ourselves from the bad effects of the modernity.

My Conclusion:  my Opinion about " Why Do Women Wear Skimpy and Revealing or Sexy Dresses ?" , in my opinion, the women are indifferent about the sexual attraction by the exposure of the body or body parts, the women are aware that the men are attracted by the view of women's body, aware not in the sense of men, the women are aware but they are only aware, they do not feel the same attraction as the men do, the women are indifferent in either men's body or woman's body view.
The Women are not at all get aroused by the view of naked body of either men or women just like boys of age below 10 years are not interested or get attracted towards nude women bodies, because the boys of this age do not have the required male hormones in their blood streams, therefore the toddlers are not ashamed of exposing their nudity nor the girls of this age, so the women are just like this.

The women only know that exposing their body makes them beautiful, but they cannot comprehend the role of the male hormones, as they (women) do not posses them in required levels in their blood serums.
The women can walk freely semi-nude or in skimpy dresses, as they do not that that kind of attraction in women's body, but the men cannot do their daily routine jobs with an erection in their pants whole day, as they see the women in erotic dresses. 

We should think that, " Who is deciding for our dress & fashions?", Those who are Barbers & Tailors !, we should think about this.

Here I have selected some photos from the Internet as a proof and I have greatly reduced their pixels because of the obscenity and vulgarity in these photos, I tried to select those photos which are real women and which are in public places and which are not advertisements, you can see yourself If I am right or wrong in my opinions.
There are few web pages from where I have taken some of the information.

please see Example photos,These photos are only for demonstration purpose.


Slut Shaming

The modern women are dressing and want to indulge in promiscuity and are wearing makeups and showing themselves just same as sluts do, then I wonder who are actual sluts?, how they differ from these women? why the modern women do not want to labelled as sluts?, why they are in opposition to slut shaming?.

Men are affected little by the modernity,..

Photos of Nudity of Women in public places

http://jezebel.com/5761392/the-nudity-effect-on-men-versus-women


https://www.quora.com/Why-do-some-girls-wear-short-or-revealing-clothes

http://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/spiritual-life/revealing-clothes

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/foxyfolklorist/why-do-women-wear-revealing-clothes-part-1/

http://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a15636/women-topless-in-public/


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/female-nudity-isnt-obscen_b_5186495.html

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/3aedxx/ladies_what_is_your_opinion_on_nudity_male_or/

http://www.pajiba.com/think_pieces/what-nude-photo-scandals-tell-us-about-how-we-view-women.php

http://www.imperfectparent.com/mominatrix/is-male-nudity-attractive/

http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/02/women-aesthetically-pleasing/

https://broadblogs.com/2015/01/19/men-women-react-to-male-female-nudity/

http://filmingcops.com/new-law-will-let-cops-arrest-women-for-wearing-too-short-shorts/

http://discussion.femalefirst.co.uk/viewtopic.php?t=305053

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_revolution

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obscenity

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexism

why do women wear skimpy dress

Why do women wear less clothes

Why do women wear revealing dress

No shame in sexy dresses


https://BBC Opinion


I have copied from the internet some of the opinions of the experts in this matter please read it as well, and I have copied some links to their posts and web pages.

these are the links below.....

Why Do Women Wear Skirts, Real reasons

why-youre-attracted-to-the-opposite-sex

Science of Love and Attraction



Why You’re Attracted to the Opposite Sex

Donald Miller
by Donald Miller

This week I’m featuring posts from my newest release, Father Fiction. These are new writings, not previously released in the books original form. The book hits stores today.

Father Fiction spells out some practical advice for people who grew up without dads, but it’s great for mentors and single mom’s too. I should warn you the book is very plain spoken and blunt. It’s perhaps the most direct book I’ve written, and I don’t hold back on my opinions. I don’t hold back because over time I’ve learned exactly what I needed to hear having grown up without a father. This first piece is taken from a chapter about dating:

From Father Fiction:

“…We also want to understand why we are attracted to the opposite sex, and there are many reasons. I want to talk about the two dominant forces that draw you to the opposite sex. The first is the desire to reproduce. This is what your body wants. The second is the desire for redemption. This is what your soul wants.

At a young age your hormones were going crazy. We think we are in love but the truth is, we are in lust. We just want to have sex. But look around, look at how many couples are unhappy. So many of them got married because they wanted sex, not because they wanted the responsibility of taking care of another person and a family.

The other force is the desire for redemption. Psychologists theorize that we are deeply attracted (what feels like romantic love) to the negative characteristics of our primary caretakers. You know that intense feeling you get when you think you can’t live without him or her? According to this theory, what you are really feeling is the desire to go back in time to when you were a baby and fix the relationship you had with your parents. Your subconscious recognizes the other person as having your parents characteristics, and takes your subconscious back to childhood. That’s why you feel like you’ve always known this person or that if you don’t have him or her, you won’t have security. Your brain assumes if you lose this person, you’ll lose the roof over your head, your daily food and love itself. That’s why you obsess about somebody you hardly know. Your subconscious brain thinks that person is your mommy or daddy. Your squirrel brain is picking up on the negative characterisitcs of your primary caretakers because those are the ones you hope to fix so that you’ll finally receive love. If your father had a bad temper, you might be attracted to a person with a bad temper. If your mother was controlling, you are going to be drawn to a mroe controlling person. And the whole time you are going to think you are madly in love, that this other person is going to complete you. The very sad news and the hard news is they won’t. The greater the passion, oftentimes, the greater the let down. This is true because the subconscious brain doesn’t get what it was hoping to get, which is a repaired relationship with mommy and daddy.



Nuts, isn’t it? Insane. But I actually think this theory bears a lot of truth.

But what do you do with this?

Well, for starters, you don’t let your squirrel brain drive all your decisions. When you fall in love, ask yourself what it is that is drawing you to this person. Is it sex? That won’t last. It won’t be long before you’re sexually attracted to somebody else, and you might end up having many partners and the lonely life of a sailor on shore leave. Is it that they are controlling or have anger issues? That won’t work either. They aren’t your mommy or daddy, and they aren’t going to make everything okay.

In fact, relationships, while rewarding, actually make life harder. They will bless your life, but they will bless your life through sacrifice. You are going to get more muscle out of it, and that’s the attidute you have to have going into it in the first place. If you go into a relationship hoping to give love, hoping to create some of the security the other person is looking for, you are better off and your relationship stands a chance. And you’ll most likely get some love in return. But it will be realistic love, not redemption. Your spouse isn’t Jesus.

So the real question to ask is, “Can I put up with this person?” That sounds awful, but it’s important. Does she like what I like, is he easy to talk to, is she a good friend? In other words, does this relationship have the stuff of terrific friendship? Of course, you have to be attracted to the person, just don’t let that attraction hijack you into making stupid decisions.

That narrows the field considerably. You might be ticked at me right now because it’s hard enough to get a date, and I’ve just taken ninety percent of the applicants out of the picture. But I promise you, people who know what they want and are choosy about their mates are infinitely more attrative to the opposite sex. Be choosy and I assure you people will be more drawn to you.

I wish somebody would have told me that when I was a kid.

Now, lets talk about what women really find attractive in men, and what men really find attractive in women…(continued tomorrow…)



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Science of attraction and love



The Science of Love and Attraction. Role of Hormones in Love and attraction.


Have you ever wondered what is the reason that we get attracted to the opposite sex? What is behind a relationship between a man and woman? Or what is the reason we find some body totally irresistible and often fantasize about that person in a sexually inclined manner? Why is that we are swept off our feet at the sight or thought of someone and long to be with him/her whenever we are free?

To understand the answer to all these questions we need to understand the Science of love. Following are the two main theories that govern the science of love , attraction or attachment.



Evolutionary Need

It can be considered to be the central factor that attracts the potential mate to a creature in the nature. The same is true for human beings as well. As the evolution theory goes, if a creature mates with a weaker mate, the off-springs are also weak and may not be able to survive against this harsh nature.


This might at some point of time lead to the total extinction of the species from earth. In order to avoid this, it is natural that we try to attract and also get attracted to a stronger, healthier and attractive mate so that there is no problem in the continuity of our heritage.

Though this theory might not play in our mind in our real lives but it is actually what the science of evolution tells us and it does explain to a good extent the laws of attraction and love.

The Role of Hormones

Apart from the evolution theory, this is the basic scientific reason which explains the questions we are trying to answer in this article.

Hormones are a form of chemical compounds in our body which is released at various stages of life and times as per need. The role that they play in influencing our minds and bodies to get attracted to somebody is also pivotal. A famous study defines the first stage of love to be lust, the second as Attraction and third as Attachment. These various stages are influenced by different hormones in our body which is discussed below.


Stage I - Lust

This is the first stage of love, in which we try to get a desirable being of opposite sex and satiate our carnal desires. This stage is mostly related with the sexual fantasies that a human being carries in his/her mind. The sex hormone that influence or cause this stage is testosterone and estrogen in both males and females.

Stage II - Attraction

This is the most beautiful stage when one is said to have "fallen in love". The person in totally in thoughts of his/her lover and can think of nothing else that person. The hormones that play their role for such a emotional state are the following

Dopamine : Dopamine is a hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter. When this hormone is triggered, the individual experience the similar pleasurable feeling like that experienced when taking drugs! This brings in a wave of pleasant feelings, additional energy and focus. The need for sleep and taking rest is felt to go down.

Adrenaline : The process of falling for some body is characterized by a rush of adrenaline in your blood. This affects your response to stress, increased heart beat and dryness of mouth- indicators of initiation of love.

Stage III - Attachment

This is considered to the last stage of love and very much needed for a successful relationship. Scientists believe that there are two hormones which have a role to invoke this feeling - Oxytocin and Vassopressin.



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5 Problems with the Social Idea That ‘Women Are More Aesthetically Pleasing’ concept.

February 22, 2016 by Suzannah Weiss


“Contemporary art has far more nude women than men. It’s not fair,” I vented to a friend over ice cream one night.

“Oh, that’s just because women are more aesthetically pleasing,” she shrugged, picking up her spoon.

“Well, that’s what we’re taught to think.”

“No, I’ve always thought that,” she recalled. “I mean, I’m not saying women should be objectified or anything.”

I believed her, but the fact that you’ve thought something from a young age doesn’t mean culture had no influence.

And though she didn’t intend to objectify women, the widespread belief that women are “the fair(er) sex” does objectify them.

Not to mention, it equates sex with gender and disregards non-binary, gender-nonconforming, and agender folks by equating women with people with vaginas and contrasting them with men.

You may have heard this explanation for women’s disproportionate sexualization in pop culture before: that women are just more pleasant to look at.

You may have even heard it in a feminist context. Another friend once told me that it’s unfair that women work harder to look good when they look better in the first place. And a guy I met in a bar once said it makes no sense to hold anything against lesbians because “women are much hotter,” so of course even women will be attracted to them.

That second sentiment, by the way, isn’t just one expressed by ignorant outsiders. Author Rita Mae Brown said, “I became a lesbian because of women, because women are beautiful, strong, and compassionate.”

On top of that, one woman told me that “men are horny bastards” because “women’s bodies are beautiful” – in other words, it’s no wonder men objectify us when our bodies are asking for it.

As this last statement shows, the notion that women are more pleasant to look at can have insidious implications. And that’s true even when people try to employ it toward feminist ends.

People aren’t objectifying women by personally finding them more attractive. However, the view that women are objectively, universally “the fair(er) sex” maintains a status quo where women’s bodies are more often sexualized, whether its advocates intend to or not.

My friend’s comment about art, for example, serves to defend the gender imbalance of nudes in museums. As the feminist art activist group The Guerilla Girls famously pointed out, 76% of the nudes in the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Modern Art section are women, while only 4% of the artists with work showcased there are women.

And those two statistics are related.

Nude drawings and scantily clad magazine covers may seem innocent, but nudity and clothedness have long symbolized power dynamics. The imbalance of public nudity makes “women’s bodies vulnerable while men’s are protected,” Naomi Wolf explains in The Beauty Myth.

“Cross-culturally, unequal nakedness almost always expresses power relations: In modern jails, male prisoners are stripped in front of clothed prison guards; in the antebellum South, young black male slaves were naked while serving the clothed white masters at table,” she writes.

“To live in a culture in which women are routinely naked where men aren’t is to learn inequality in little ways all day long. So even if we agree that sexual imagery is in fact a language, it is clearly one that is already heavily edited to protect men’s sexual – and hence social – confidence while undermining that of women.”

These social hierarchies influence ideals of beauty, which, in turn, can influence our individual taste, even if it feels like we’ve had this taste our whole lives. When we explain away our culture’s obsession with women’s bodies as the result of innate preferences, we obscure injustice by training ourselves to view systems of oppression as human nature.

And whenever we consider something human nature, we block ourselves off from questioning it. Gender inequality becomes part of the air we breathe, and we don’t even realize it’s suffocating us.

To be clear, this is not a diatribe against people who are attracted to women. I’m talking not about individual sexual preferences, but about societal ideals of beauty. These two things are sometimes related, but regardless, we’re all entitled to our preferences, even when they have problematic roots.

However, we run into some problems when we assume that the affinity for looking at women is universal and that its normalization is devoid of oppressive power dynamics. So here are some of these problems with the stereotype of women as “the fair(er) sex.”

1. It Perpetuates the Objectification of Women

Claims like “women are more beautiful” and “women are just more aesthetically pleasing” are often used to explain away the imbalance of nudity not only in art, but also in porn, movies, magazines, and television.

Pop culture is replete with the “clothed male, naked female” trope. Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” video is just one example of mainstream media’s tendency to dress men, while leaving women naked and vulnerable.

Movies that display a man’s full-frontal nudity are also far more likely to get an R or NC-17 rating than those that portray a woman this way.

And we need to start seeing that for what it is: a problem.

This double standard sends the message that men are supposed to look and women are supposed to be looked at. It deems women passive objects of desire and deprives them of their right to have desires of their own.

When we say that this imbalance exists because of an innate human preference for women’s bodies, we brush the problem aside and depict the objectification of women as the natural order of things.

2. It Marginalizes Sexual Preferences That Differ from Those of Straight Men

Here’s a little lesson in feminist film theory: The mainstream media depicts the world through an imaginary “male gaze,” which is not necessarily the perspective of most men, but rather, society’s notion of a “normal” man’s perspective.

As such, the male gaze is a heterosexual one, and non-binary people are rendered invisible, neither subjects nor objects of the gaze.

Films, TV, and other visual media prompt everyone, including straight women, to see through the eyes of a straight man, both literally and figuratively.

This is accomplished through the camera’s focus on women’s bodies, the script’s unsympathetic portrayals of women, underdeveloped women characters, and a number of other conventions.


It’s no wonder so many people believe women are more aesthetically pleasing when they’re taught to view the world as a straight man would.

Yet despite this cultural norm, many still don’t see things that way. Many people like looking at men. Many people like looking at those who don’t identify as women or men. Many people have no preference. Those perspectives are all equally valid.

While aesthetic taste and sexual preference can be distinct, they’re often related. So, when we say women are objectively more aesthetically pleasing than men – and such statements don’t even acknowledge gender-nonconforming people – we erase people who aren’t predominantly attracted to women.

3. It Universalizes Contemporary Western Culture

When we say “women are more attractive,” what we really often mean is, “Women are considered more attractive in contemporary Western culture.” Because not all cultures see it the same way.

Anyone who thinks the abundance of women nudes in art is a result of natural aesthetic preferences should see the nude statues of Ancient Greece, where athletic men’s bodies were idealized more than anything.

Today, the Wodaabe people of Africa hold beauty contests for men judged by women.

Even in parts of Europe compared to the United States, there’s less of a double standard in the value placed on gendered appearances.

For example, in English, using the appearance-related words typically designated for women toward men can be an insult. Calling a man “pretty” or “beautiful” is said to feminize him.

But in Italian and Spanish, it is normal to call a man “bello,” the equivalent of the feminine “bella,” and in French, the words are “beau” and “belle.” All three of these countries are known for having more fashionable men as well.

I say this not to endorse the objectification of men, but to argue that the disproportionate objectification of women is not the human race’s biological destiny.

When we say that the beliefs held by people of our own place and time are natural, what we’re really claiming is that our culture is right and others are wrong.

4. It Uses a Normative Definition of ‘Woman’

The idea that women as a group are more aesthetically pleasing relies on the presumption that all women look similar – and that all people with vaginas are women.

People who say that women’s bodies are more beautiful are typically imagining a particular kind of woman.

They’re not imagining an old, fat, flat-chested trans woman of color sitting in a wheelchair. They’re picturing a slender, curvy, young, white, able-bodied, cisgender woman – the kind you typically see in art and on TV.

Once we realize how diverse the group we classify as “women” is, though, it seems ridiculous to make any sweeping generalization about women’s appearances.

When we say that women are by nature beautiful, we exclude women who don’t fit society’s definition of that word.


Everyone is beautiful, yet few are deemed beautiful by conventional standards. And when people say that women are more beautiful, they’re usually referring to those select few women they see in the media every day.

But women who don’t look like that are still women.

5. It Puts Men Down and Erases Gender-Nonconforming People

“Women look like beautiful, soft, gorgeous angels when they’re naked. We look like hairy ogres or little scrawny trolls,” Jason Mraz once wrote in Cosmo.

While it’s problematic to objectify one gender by heralding them as more pleasant to look at, it’s also problematic to consider one gender unattractive – or to measure anyone according to societal beauty standards.

Body positivity dictates that everyone deserves to feel good about their body, including men and gender-nonconforming people, and the myth of women’s aesthetic superiority excludes them.

Mraz’s viewpoint can not only make men insecure, as he himself mentions, but also perpetuate that same old stereotype that men’s bodies are for doing while women’s are for being looked at.

It’s a poisonous combination: criticism with a side of objectification.

In addition to deeming men unattractive, the “fair(er) sex” school of thought completely erases gender-nonconforming people by positioning women in contrast to men and equating gender identity with genitals.

When we acknowledge that there are many different genders and that people with all different bodies can identify with any of them, it becomes impossible to make judgments about which gender has the most attractive body.

The “fair(er) sex” trope relies on the premises that there are only two sexes, that there are only two genders, and that these categories are synonymous – because in the phrase “fair(er) sex,” “sex” also means “gender.” All three of these premises are false.

***

It may be hard to believe that the “fair(er) sex” philosophy is destructive when it shows up in so many contexts meant to empower women.

But like all forms of benevolent sexism, these gestures of support only serve to maintain a status quo in which stereotypical straight men’s perspectives are universalized, women are objects (not subjects) of desire, and gender non-conforming people are invisabilized.

A truly feminist, body-positive viewpoint says that everybody can be beautiful in their own way, and no group is objectively more attractive than any other. After all, beauty is personal and subjective – sweeping generalizations just don’t work.

And we all deserve to feel beautiful, no matter what gender we are.


-------------------------------------------------



Is male nudity attractive to women?
by Kristen Chase.
with 5 comments.

Earlier this week, U.S. Rep. Anthony Weiner finally admitted that he was responsible for accidentally sending the tweet photo of himself in his underpants to some poor young Seattle woman. Apparently, he thought we would all believe that he was so important that a bunch of hackers would take a break from the lucrative business of stealing identities over the Internet to send some random photo of a man in his underpants from his Twitter account.

Though really, laying claim to the "Weiner's wiener" scandal might have been worth taking a day off from a paid hacking gig.

This wasn't the first time he'd sent lewd photos to random women on the Internet, with inappropriate phone conversations and even more photos shared via Facebook and emails to various women.

It never is.

But with all the deep apologies to his (apparently pregnant) wife and his constituents (hey, what about all his Twitter followers' eyes?), there's still one big question left unanswered. And no, it's not why government servants seem to have a penchant for aberrant behavior.

Why do men think that women want to see pictures of their penis?

Rep. Weiner is just the latest in a slew of high profile men who have been caught sending picture of their genitals, in one form or another, to women, most recently quarterback Brett Favre, who sent photos of his wanger via text to model and television personality Jenn Sterger.

It's true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but even Plato probably had a caveat that eliminated penises from that famous quote.

Most women are not turned on just by seeing a man's dick, hence why Playgirl is really for gay men and not women. Or at least women who aren't decorating for a bachelorette party.

We like the whole package. And no, not the "cock and balls" package. Try the smile, the sweet words, the Tiffany necklace.

Perhaps these men have fallen victims to misleading sex talk, where their partner moans to "see their big dick," which, let's face it boys, is more for you than it is for the women. We know it's what you want to hear and we say it because it works really well. But somehow, these men get it twisted in their heads (the ones with the actual brain, mind you) and they start to believe that women actually want to see their penises.

With all the Mars and Venus crap that's been out for years now, it should really come as no surprise that women just aren't as visually stimulated as men, or at least, by certain odd looking body parts.

A picture of a giant penis-shaped chocolate cake with absolutely no calories — maybe.

But even sexy photographs of hot celebrities aren't necessarily a turn on. And even if they are, the men are generally clothed. With a face, six-pack abs, and one heckuva tight ass.

Not just a dick.

So when we try to make some sense out of why some average looking Joe or even some once-upon-a-time hot quarterback sends pictures of quite possibly their least attractive asset (though with Weiner, it's questionable), the answer is simple: It has nothing to do with the recipient getting turned on.

It's all about turning on themselves. It's called "exhibitionism."

True exhibitionists aren't really looking to win over their conquests, or even get laid. Their flashing of body parts isn't a "mating call." Rather, they're seeking the excitement and high that comes from shocking the other person. And maybe, there's a part of them, probably that part of them, that believes women really want to see it.

So look, men, if a woman asks for a shot of you in your tighty whities or she begs for a picture of your cock, don't fool yourself. She's not looking for a little masturbatory material.

She's probably just trying to see whether you're stupid enough to do it.


Comments of the readers....
Dick Fitzwell • 6 years ago
It's nice to see Lesbians are given a chance to write articles too. Equal opportunity for all!


Flasher • 6 years ago
Poor Mr. Fitzwell. He has convinced himself that what the author says is not true. He's embarrassed about all those gross pictures he sent his ladies- not realizing how much they laughed, or gagged, about them. Please, boys, we don't want to see your junk - keep it covered.


Jared • 6 years ago
Let's keep pictures of our penises where they belong: attached to emails and sent to famous celebrities.


Amanda • 6 years ago
Bwahahaha! She's right! My guy sends those pics occasionally and I have to make up something, like, yeah baby that's hot! It really turns me on!

But really I'm in the middle of cooking dinner while wrangling two rowdy children away from the cat.


taylor • 6 years ago
I am a straight, married woman. I agree that the lone cock in a photo is rarely hot (a close up of any genitals without context or previous arousal is typically not so hot). But a smile, sweet words and a Tiffany necklace don't get me wet either. Nice, sure, but not sexually arousing to me at all. The whole 'women aren't visually stimulated' thing does not resonate with me one bit. Face, body, and after a little making out...the cock and even the balls...are hot, visually. I might love someone for 'who they are inside' but i want to have sex with someone that is hot on the outside. And let's be honest, not all cocks are created equal...I think a woman is lying (or sadly inexperienced) if she's says she has no preference for width and length. I am not saying that your feelings, preferences and experience are 'wrong'. But not all women want diamonds and 'sweet words' over a toned body and a nice sized cock and of course respect and mutual effort when it comes to sex.

p.s. I also think that it is completely absurd that Weiner resigned over this relatively marginal transgression. It's a matter solely for he and his wife to deal with...personally if I were her I'd be more upset that our sex-phobic society caused him to be unemployed.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


38 Things All Women Think When Wearing A Skirt

Gone With the Wind: A Story of a Woman’s Confidence and Her Skirt.

posted on May 16, 2014, at 3:55 a.m.
 Leonora Epstein
Leonora Epstein
BuzzFeed Staff

1. I should not have worn a skirt today.
2. Will people notice that I didn’t really shave the backs of my legs?
3. Should have worn tights.
4. Oh shoot, was that just a breeze? This could get bad.
5. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck WIND.
6. WHY did I wear a skirt on a windy day?
7. And why have they not yet engineered skirts so they don’t blow up with the wind?
8. Oh, I guess those are pencil skirts. (Just pretend this post is not about a pencil skirt.)
9. I am now bunching the bejeezus out of my hem and it is still blowing up and this is really, really stressful.

10. What underwear am I wearing again? Please let it be boy briefs.
11. Should have worn Spandex shorts underneath this shit.
12. But screw Spandex, y’know?
13. Oh great, I dropped something. If I lean over to pick it up, I will probably be exposing myself to the rest of the world.
14. Is this skirt even work-appropriate?
15. Remember that time you wore a WHITE skirt with RED underwear? That was bad.
16. Wait. Can you see my underwear NOW through this skirt?
17. Oh, wow, it is muuuuch shorter looking when I sit down. Eek.
18. Does this skirt make me look like I’m five?
19. Ooh, but it does look nice when I twirl.

20. I don’t know how anyone rides a bike in this thing.
21. OK, there is wind everywhere.
22. There is wind when I entered this elevator.
23. And this goddamned subway platform fuckfuckfuckkkkk.
24. Are my bare thighs touching this seat? Which is probably covered with germs?
25. Too late to try to adjust it now.

26. It’s like, every way I sit, I’m somehow exposing my crotch.
27. Why is this skirt shorter in the back than in the front? Is my butt really that big?
28. If I’m walking up steps and someone’s walking behind me, are they able to see up my skirt?
29. Probably.
30. I’m really glad I don’t have to dance on a bar like those girls in Coyote Ugly.

31. I feel vulnerable.
32. Like anything could happen at any moment. To my crotch.
33. Yet I’m strangely free as well.
34. Despite feeling lots of anxiety about this skirt, I still really like you, skirt. You’re like pants without the middle man.
35. You’re like the crazy friend who, when she comes to town, makes you stay up late and party. And you think you’re not going to enjoy it but then you do!
36. And, I mean, at least going to the bathroom is easy.
37. I just hope I didn’t leave my skirt tucked into my underwear.
38. Phew.

-----------------------------------------------


Female First

Female First Forum

MrBloke
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Why do woman wear skirts?


Postby MrBloke » Sun Nov 27, 2011 4:38 pm

It sounds a funny question, I mean they look great in skirts, I love seeing a lady in a skirt. But what I want to know is how do the ladies feel about wearing one. Is it because they feel comfortable in one, or is it purely to show off their legs/form depending on the length and style? Perhaps it's a combination of both? I would be interested to know. When woman wear short tight skirts for example that sends off a very sexy message to me, but are they always wearing them for that affect, or is it that they just like wearing them for their own pleasure/comfort/fashion sense? :)

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Why I wear skirts?
Quote

Postby VanessaEvans » Sun Nov 27, 2011 5:12 pm

Why I love wearing skirts (please bare in mind that I usually wear short, loose fitting, ‘A’ style skirts and never wear knickers)

Comfort
Less restrictive than trousers and shorts
Showoff my legs
Showoff the bits at the top of my legs
Less hassle and quicker when going to the toilet
Hygiene
My bf wants me to
Easier access for my bf
Easier access for my fingers
More fun when I’m in a teasing mood
Easier to have sex when sitting on my bf’s lap
More fun when riding my bike
More attention and consideration from men
Better service from men in shops etc.

There may well be reasons, but that is all that I can think of at the moment.

V
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MrBloke
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Re: Why I wear skirts?
Quote

Postby MrBloke » Sun Nov 27, 2011 5:32 pm

VanessaEvans wrote:Why I love wearing skirts (please bear in mind that I usually wear short, loose fitting, ‘A’ style skirts and never wear.

Comfort
Less restrictive than trousers and shorts
Showoff my legs
Showoff the bits at the top of my legs
Less hassle and quicker when going to the toilet
Hygiene
My bf wants me to
Easier access for my bf
Easier access for my fingers
More fun when I’m in a teasing mood
Easier to have sex when sitting on my bf’s lap
More fun when riding my bike
More attention and consideration from men
Better service from men in shops etc.

There may well be reasons, but that is all that I can think of at the moment.

V


Thanks Vanessa! That's a very open and honest response. Is this typical for most woman I wonder?

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VanessaEvans
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Re: Why do woman wear skirts?
Quote

Postby VanessaEvans » Sun Nov 27, 2011 6:32 pm

It's certainly typical in my group of friends, and in my bf's niece's circle of friends (she's at uni in London).

V
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PaulaB
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Re: Why do woman wear skirts?
Quote

Postby PaulaB » Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:00 pm

I wear skirts because they make me feel feminine and confident.They are one of the last bastions of femininity and teamed with nice underwear they make me feel sexy and give me a boost on days when I need a lift.Though I do wear trousers and jeans quite a lot,there is nothing nicer than slipping on a pair of stockings and suspenders or nice tights and pulling a skirt on and a pair of heels to make you feel ladylike again!!!,Love,PaulaXXX.
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C Dumbarton
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Re: Why I wear skirts?
Quote

Postby C Dumbarton » Mon Nov 28, 2011 4:38 am

VanessaEvans wrote:Why I love wearing skirts (please bare in mind that I usually wear short, loose fitting, ‘A’ style skirts and never wear <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/' target='_blank'>knickers</A>)

Comfort
Less restrictive than trousers and shorts
Showoff my legs
Showoff the bits at the top of my legs
Less hassle and quicker when going to the toilet
Hygiene
My bf wants me to
Easier access for my bf
Easier access for my fingers
More fun when I’m in a teasing mood
Easier to have sex when sitting on my bf’s lap
More fun when riding my bike
More attention and consideration from men
Better service from men in shops etc.

There may well be reasons, but that is all that I can think of at the moment.

V


I would agree that these are all true of my girlfriends and myself, although I've never worn a skirt while riding a bike :shock: My gf's do tend to go a bit shorter on the skirt length than I do...although I've been know to wear them about mid-thigh sometimes- clubbing, dates, etc..

Jarred Embers
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MrBloke
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Re: Why do woman wear skirts?
Quote

Postby MrBloke » Mon Nov 28, 2011 2:01 pm

PaulaB wrote:I wear skirts because they make me feel feminine and confident.They are one of the last bastions of femininity and teamed with nice underwear they make me feel sexy and give me a boost on days when I need a lift.Though I do wear trousers and jeans quite a lot,there is nothing nicer than slipping on a pair of <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>stockings</A> and suspenders or nice <A HREF='http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/catalog/default.php/cPath/23_52' target='_blank'>tights</A> and pulling a skirt on and a pair of heels to make you feel ladylike again!!!,Love,PaulaXXX.


Sounds good to me ;-)
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Re: Why do woman wear skirts?
Quote

Postby harrie carrie » Wed Nov 30, 2011 4:45 pm

I have genaerally been a skirt wearer very rarely wear trousers or jeans i think this has been a trait that i got from my mother as when i was younger she always dressed me in skirts and dresses.
As with the girls earlier comments in this thread,i feel much more femamine in a nice skirt/dress with my legs clad in a pair of stockings also matching underwear I am very much a girlie girl and believe thats a woman/girl looks more femamine dressed in skirts and dresses,dont get me wrong some woman look absolutely stunning in tousers jeans jeggings etc but they are not for me.

caz
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Re: Why do woman wear skirts?
Quote

Postby yanna » Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:22 am

Its very comfy, makes you feel so feminine and when you flaunt your legs and people compliments it, it makes me feel good too. :)

Womens Western Wear | Spas in NJ
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MrBloke
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Re: Why do woman wear skirts?
Quote

Postby MrBloke » Mon Dec 05, 2011 4:13 pm

The answers so far agree with what I thought, and certainly in my opinion think that ladies look very feminine in skirts and dresses and it is my preference prefer to see them dressed that way. I think they can look very good in jeans, but skirts hit the mark for me.
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Bart73
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Re: Why do woman wear skirts?
Quote

Postby Bart73 » Fri Dec 16, 2011 11:20 am

I only wear skirts and will never wear trousers. I have over 200 different skirts or dresses, but i like a skirt that is tight and restrictive and wear most a cool denim pencil skirt to just below my knee, with no slit in the back only a small pleat, but this has a little stretch so i can just about step up a step.

I have a friend who hates skirts and have been trying to get her to wear a skirt for ages, and late weekend she came round mine wearing a skirt, she said that she brought it today.
Since then she has worn a skirt

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Re: Why do woman wear skirts?
Quote

Postby louise_heels » Tue Jan 24, 2012 3:11 pm

agreed Paula!!!

Louise x
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Mac
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Re: Why I wear skirts?
Quote

Postby Mac » Tue Jan 24, 2012 11:25 pm

(for me)
VanessaEvans wrote:Why I love wearing skirts (please bare in mind that I usually wear short, loose fitting, ‘A’ style skirts and never wear kn1ckers

Comfort (definately)
Less restrictive than trousers and shorts (definately)
Showoff my legs (definately)
Showoff the bits at the top of my legs (wouldn't be comfortable that short unless I had opaque pant1es)
Less hassle and quicker when going to the toilet (definately easier than pulling down trousers)
Hygiene (definately - less dampness and more ventilation)
My bf wants me to (not a valid reason)
Easier access for my bf (never did that)
Easier access for my fingers (wouldn't do that in public)
More fun when I’m in a teasing mood (definately)
Easier to have sex when sitting on my bf’s lap (never did that)
More fun when riding my bike (never did that)
More attention and consideration from men (definately an advantage)
Better service from men in shops etc. (definately an advantage)

There may well be reasons, but that is all that I can think of at the moment.

V
:D :girl: :angel: :D
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H. Franklin Layne
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Re: Why I wear skirts?
Quote

Postby H. Franklin Layne » Wed Jan 25, 2012 5:26 am

Mac wrote:(for me)
VanessaEvans wrote:Why I love wearing skirts (please bare in mind that I usually wear short, loose fitting, ‘A’ style skirts and never wear kn1ckers

Comfort (definately)
Less restrictive than trousers and shorts (definately)
Showoff my legs (definately)
Showoff the bits at the top of my legs (wouldn't be comfortable that short unless I had opaque pant1es)
Less hassle and quicker when going to the toilet (definately easier than pulling down trousers)
Hygiene (definately - less dampness and more ventilation)
My bf wants me to (not a valid reason)
Easier access for my bf (never did that)
Easier access for my fingers (wouldn't do that in public)
More fun when I’m in a teasing mood (definately)
Easier to have sex when sitting on my bf’s lap (never did that)
More fun when riding my bike (never did that)
More attention and consideration from men (definately an advantage)
Better service from men in shops etc. (definately an advantage)

There may well be reasons, but that is all that I can think of at the moment.

V


It's a valid reason for Vanessa. If you have read any part of her blog, you would know why I say that, and why she posted it...... have a look at her blog, Mac. It's all a matter of lifestyle choices.
Out for life, liberty, and the pursuit of cuntishness!

"...So I told the swamp donkey to sock it before I gave her a trunkey in her tradesmens entrance and made her suck me yard balls!"

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Mac
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Re: Why I wear skirts?
Quote

Postby Mac » Wed Jan 25, 2012 6:10 am

H. Franklin Layne wrote:
Mac wrote:(for me)
VanessaEvans wrote:Why I love wearing skirts (please bare in mind that I usually wear short, loose fitting, ‘A’ style skirts and never wear kn1ckers

Comfort (definately)
Less restrictive than trousers and shorts (definately)
Showoff my legs (definately)
Showoff the bits at the top of my legs (wouldn't be comfortable that short unless I had opaque pant1es)
Less hassle and quicker when going to the toilet (definately easier than pulling down trousers)
Hygiene (definately - less dampness and more ventilation)
My bf wants me to (not a valid reason)
Easier access for my bf (never did that)
Easier access for my fingers (wouldn't do that in public)
More fun when I’m in a teasing mood (definately)
Easier to have sex when sitting on my bf’s lap (never did that)
More fun when riding my bike (never did that)
More attention and consideration from men (definately an advantage)
Better service from men in shops etc. (definately an advantage)

There may well be reasons, but that is all that I can think of at the moment.

V


It's a valid reason for Vanessa. If you have read any part of her blog, you would know why I say that, and why she posted it...... have a look at her blog, Mac. It's all a matter of lifestyle choices.






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Men & Women React to Male & Female Nudity
JAN 19
Posted by BroadBlogs
Women and men showing skin
Women and men showing skin

By Lisa Wade @ Sociological Images

We’ve all heard the truism “sex sells.”

But whose sex is sold?  And to who?

If it was simply that sex sold,

…we’d see men and women equally sexually objectified in popular culture.  Instead, we see, primarily, women sold to (presumably heterosexual) men.  So what are we selling, exactly, if not “sex”?


What is really being sold is men’s (presumably heterosexual) sexual subjectivity: the experience of being a person in the world who was presented with images that were for his titillation.  Women do not live in the world this way.  They are not exposed everyday to images that legitimize their lust; instead, the images teach women that they are the object of that lust.

In light of this, Sociologist Beth Eck did a series of interviews attempting to tap into what it felt like for men and women to look at male and female nudes.  Her findings were pretty fascinating.

First, she asked men and women to look at naked images of women, including this one of Cindy Crawford:



Women viewing images of female nudes almost inevitably compared themselves to the figure and felt inadequate.   Said one women:

…the portrayal of these thin models and I just get depressed… I’m very hard on myself, wanting to be that way.

Women ended up feeling bad whether the model conformed to conventional norms of attractiveness or not.  When looking at a heavy set woman, they often responded like this:

I am disgusted by it because she is fat, but I’m also… I need to lose about 10 pounds.

I don’t necessarily find her body that attractive… Her stomach looks like mine.

Men, in contrast, clearly felt pandered to as holders of a heterosexual male gaze.  They knew that the image was for them and offered praise (for a job well done) or criticism (for failure to live up to their expectations).  About Crawford they said:

Personally I think she is attractive.

I like that.

Both men and women, then, knew exactly how to respond to female nudes: women had internalized their object status (women as sex object-things) and men had internalized their subject status (men were people looking at sexy objects).

Eck then showed them male nudes, including this one of Sylvester Stallone:



Interestingly, both men and women felt uncomfortable looking at male nudes.

Men responded by either expressing extreme disinterest, re-asserting their heterosexuality, or both.  They did not compare themselves to the male nudes (like women did with female nudes), except to say that they were both male and, therefore, there was “nothing to see.”  Meanwhile, because men have been trained to be a lustful sexual subject, seeing male nudity tended to raise the specter of homosexuality.  They couldn’t see the bodies as anything but sexual objects for them to gaze upon.

In contrast, the specter of homosexuality didn’t arise for women when they looked at female nudes because they weren’t used to being positioned as lustful.  Eck explains:

When women view the seductive pose of the female nude, they do not believe she is ‘coming on to’ them.  They know she is there to arouse men.  Thus, they do not have to work at rejecting an unwanted advance.  It is not for them.

Many women also did not feel lustful when looking at male nudes and those that did often experienced lust mixed with guilt or shame.  Eck suggests that this may be, in part, a reaction to taking on the active, consuming, masculine role, something they’re not supposed to do.

Summarizing responses to the male nudes, she writes:

Men, over and over again, reject the seductive advance [of a male nude].  While some women welcome the advance, most feel a combination of shame, guilt, or repulsion in interacting with the image…

This is what it means to live in a world in which desire is structured by a gendered sexual subject/object binary.  That is, men are taught to be subjects who see women as objects, and women are taught to be objects.  It’s not just “out there,” it’s “in us” too.

This piece was originally posted in Sociological Images. A slightly edited version is
reprinted here with permission.

This is a rerun, I’m on vacation.

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I have a Ph.D. from UCLA in sociology (emphasis: gender, social psych). I currently teach sociology and women's studies at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. I have also lectured at San Jose State. And I have blogged for Feminispire, Ms. Magazine, The Good Men Project and Daily Kos. Also been picked up by The Alternet.
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Posted on January 19, 2015, in body image, feminism, gender, men, objectification, psychology, sex and sexuality, sexism, women and tagged body image, feminism, gender, men, objectification, pop culture, psychology, sex and sexuality, sexism, women. Bookmark the permalink. 33 Comments.
? How I’m Seen Differently in a Female Body What Guys Won’t Admit ?

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COMMENTS 33

mihrank | January 19, 2015 at 3:33 am
No i do not think male nudity exciets the women the way a female nudity exciets men! Men could get horny just looking at some bra strap out of a blouse of a women who otherwise could be appropriately dressed ! Here the visualisation power of men comes handy !As from that barely visible view men could paint the whole part which exciets them that is from the back if a woman is shaking her ass men could visulise her naked ass or if a woman/girl is wearing tight jeans and if her camel-toe is revealed then men could picturise her vagina in the eye of their mind and which in turn turns them on But reason for this could be that as in our society and social system one can never ever see a naked woman unless and untill one is married At least that was the picture ubtil some years ago.

BroadBlogs | January 19, 2015 at 3:42 am
I’m trying to remember where you’re from. Is it Israel?

Yeah, men are visual. But that’s partly because we teach men to be visual and we teach women not to be. Partly by making “Sexy” a target for the male view. And we’ve rarely sexualize the male body, Or fetishize any part of it. There’s so part of the male body that we, as a culture, selectively hide and reveal and obsess over, for instance.

But thank you for your thoughts and sharing something of your culture with us.

mihrank | January 19, 2015 at 3:43 am
Thank you – I learn and explore more from you!

BroadBlogs | January 19, 2015 at 3:45 am
??

Petar | January 19, 2015 at 12:27 pm

I have always regarded men as generally unerotic and not very aesthetic, so looking at male nudes just makes me feel indifferent. But I can imagine many men feeling uncomfortable looking at such pictures, especially those who tend to be homophobic.

BroadBlogs | January 19, 2015 at 12:40 pm
Yeah, that makes sense. thanks for sharing your thoughts.

jblondie | January 19, 2015 at 2:06 pm

This is interesting. I’d like to see this experiment done with different age groups. I feel as though the results would be very different from what Eck learned here when comparing a group of 16 yr olds and a group of 40 yr olds. ?? I’d have to say that the current youth is so much more sexualized than past generations. Therefore the females would be more likely to sexualize Cindy Crawford just as the males did here.

BroadBlogs | January 19, 2015 at 3:30 pm

Yes, that would be an interesting study. Including comparing how women experience women versus how women experience sexy men these days. Because now it is more cool for women to sexualize women, but the male body still isn’t sexualized nearly as much as the female’s is — although that is changing somewhat. But there are at least 10 hot women for every hot man on a billboard, I’d guess. Maybe more like hundreds sexy women for every semi naked man. Hmmmm, I’ve got young students and sometimes I survey them. I’ll have to survey some classes and see what they say.

Ralph | January 23, 2015 at 5:24 pm

I agree, but I think you’d have to start at a younger age — I can assure you that by 16, men are already indoctrinated into the “women exist to arouse us sexually” mentality.

I suppose you’d run into ethical and/or legal difficulties showing nudes to an audience under 16, though. In spite of the fact that mass media in all forms provide ample opportunity for the youngsters to obtain said indoctrination. These days I see stuff in movie trailers marked “approved for general audiences” that would have garnered an R rating when I was a kid.

Kaiti V. | January 19, 2015 at 3:06 pm

So I have a (inarticulate) theory based on no evidence: the prevailing objectification of women(‘s bodies) in mass media is not only accepted by both genders, but welcome-these days women talk openly about girl crushes and lesbianism seems to be cool and fun, but I’m not sure the same can be said about man on man action. Men’s bodies are not part of our daily discourse and I wonder if this has contributed to what zimbardo calls the demise of guys… Because women’s bodies are such a focal point, there is equal emphasis on women to be empowered beyond our bodies. But at least we start with a desire for our bodies. We have a starting point. I’m rambling, I probably should have written this when I had thought it through a bit more. I guess I’m trying to say:

It’s ok and socially acceptable for both men and women to like women’s bodies.

By ignoring men’s bodies, are we ignoring men?

BroadBlogs | January 19, 2015 at 3:35 pm

I do believe we are ignoring men. And a lot of men are pissed off about it, Based on some of the comments I get on my blog.

I’d actually be a lot less annoyed at seeing sexy women on billboards if sexy men were equally portrayed. And if women were portrayed in a much larger variety of ways than predominately as “sexy.” And if “Sexy” weren’t so narrowly defined.

Maniparna Sengupta Majumder | January 19, 2015 at 3:28 pm
Very well explained. The last lines say it all.

BroadBlogs | January 19, 2015 at 4:38 pm
Thanks!

diahannreyes | January 19, 2015 at 5:56 pm

” It’s not just “out there,” it’s “in us” too.” That internalized conditioning that is so challenging to seep out of the body. and it really affects how we see ourselves, relate to ourselves, and relate to the world.

BroadBlogs | January 19, 2015 at 5:58 pm

That’s right! Odd how it can be so invisible in our consciousness and yet so powerful on our psyches.


Cnawan Fahey | January 21, 2015 at 12:06 am

Several years ago I attended a sweat lodge ceremony that was held on a full moon. Before it began it was suggested by the leader of the ceremony (a woman) that it be a nude sweat. Unconventional, but we all consented. The image from that evening that is indelibly etched in my mind is that of a young, shapely woman standing in the moonlight, her skin white as alabaster. She looked like a radiant Greek statue and I was so deeply struck by the beauty of the feminine form. Remarkably, there was not the erotic response that one would typically expect, just the aesthetic one.

It is an interesting dichotomy, how we view “artistic” nudes, whether ancient statues or modern photography, differently from sexualized nudes. It’s worth noting that the two photos used in the article underscore the author’s point even more, for the one of Crawford is more sexualized, the one of Stallone is more artistic (of course mimicking a famous statue). While I do find myself slipping into the male “subject status” towards images of women, the more conscious one becomes of the exploitive objectification of women, the more one shifts to an aesthetic appreciation.

This calls to mind an earlier post of yours, I believe, that described a boyfriend who obsessed about the bodies of other women. It seems inherent in our psyches that, part of the expectation of honoring one’s love relationship is that, man or woman, both partners make that internal shift, from “subject status” to aesthetic appreciation when viewing members of the opposite sex.

That being said, likely not many in modern western society would want to live in a culture devoid of sexy depictions of women or men. And I understand that part of the issue is not just that men’s “subject status” is pandered to, but that culture conditioning has locked women into the “object status”, thus precluding them from adopting the “subject status” – and that more sexy depictions of men would even the score, so to speak.  ??

To that point, something else that I find interesting, my woman friends who are polyamorous seem much more comfortable with their bodies just as they are and also seem more comfortable with adopting the “subject status” toward men (clothed or not) than other women. Or at least they seem more free in expressing that, which, of course, is consistent with that lifestyle.

BroadBlogs | January 21, 2015 at 1:49 am

Interesting thoughts. Sounds about right. The number of men have commented on my blog feeling pissed off that men’s bodies are not eroticized (as if trying to kill me, the mere messenger). I think balance would be better such that we can appreciate both male and female bodies, But without being rude to our partners. And such that women are depicted in a much wider array of ways, other than the predominant “Sexy.”

Christy Birmingham | January 22, 2015 at 12:48 pm

Very interesting, Georgia. I heard recently a comment that there is much more female nudity on TV and in films than male nudity. It’s sad to me that women look at that Cindy Crawford image and compare themselves with the assertion that they are falling short in comparison; while men may say they want that, the reality is that the women they fall in love with may look quite different than that. Intriguing article!

BroadBlogs | January 22, 2015 at 2:25 pm

Thank you. I found information really interesting, myself. And kind of sad.

Shuwen Feng | January 22, 2015 at 2:59 pm

That is a very interesting study, I think females always compare their own bodies with other females because they are lack of confidence and they always think they are not as good as those nudie female models. Also in today’s society, females are still seemed to be the subject. So when a nudie male is on the magazine, we just see it as men are showing their powers, but for female we would think she is just “a sexual object”. That reveals the current movies are showing more female nudity than male. It shows the difference of showing different gender of getting diverse judgments.

BroadBlogs | January 25, 2015 at 1:21 am
Yeah. And it is grounded in what we are taught by our society.

Aquileana | January 22, 2015 at 6:50 pm

Great post!… It is odd that male nudity is mainly related to gay pornography …when it comes to magazines!… and female nudity is so much more massive somehow…
Probably it has to be with the fact that even for straight women, women’s bodies are considered beautiful- an object of wish- and also appealing somehow?….
Best wishes!, Aquileana ??


Heta Gala | January 24, 2015 at 1:07 pm

Yes, at times when I see female images with sexy poses, I feel why I am not like the one,posing in the magazine. But, I dont feel depressive because I know I cant stop eating and those models work a lot hard to maintain those figure.



BroadBlogs | January 25, 2015 at 1:24 am
Good for you!


Sabrina Szpetkowski | January 26, 2015 at 12:18 pm

I couldn’t agree more with this article! I feel as though the sexualization of the human body in our society has reached an all time high. It is honestly so sad that these are the ideals we are teaching to our younger generations. Nearly all aspects of entertainment/media use the method of “sex sells” to make money. This just internalizes the roles of women as objects and men as subjects even more. It’s pretty depressing how much of a woman’s worth is based on beauty. I was recently talking to a friend and we somehow got on the topic of what guys look for in a girl in order for her to be dateable. He told me that he knows girls often go for a guy if he has a good personality even if hes not great looking but guys wont. If a girl isn’t attractive enough, she basically doesn’t even have a chance. I definitely believe this is due to all the internalized mindsets that are taught to us by the expected reaction to seeing a naked man or woman. It related to so many issues that real people face in their lives.

BroadBlogs | January 26, 2015 at 12:28 pm
Thanks for your thoughts. It’s a tough situation.


Michael Bullock | January 26, 2015 at 11:24 pm
Some women are so beautiful that you do not really need to see them naked. You enjoy being around them and listening. It is useless to watch porn because you have to see both partners naked. It is a pleasure to see women in two piece swim suits walking by me. I’m from San Diego so you can’t bring any sand there. Porn is only for the gain of riches.


Caroline Dietrich | January 27, 2015 at 7:05 pm
Great job on this article! It really hit home for me as I have always struggled with body images. I have a small scar across my forehead that I was always made fun of for when I was in middle school as it was the time that Harry Potter had come out and was a huge deal. Therefor, I was then called harry potter which made me resent the book SOO much. My name is Caroline and I was then picked on and called “CaroDENT.” It is so upsetting in our society how everyone is so wrapped up in how we look and we are all so influenced by pop culture and we have to live up to the iconic celebrities and actors that have “PERFECT” bodies, and faces, and hair and skin. It has as a whole taken over our society. People would rather go get plastic surgery than go to the gym and have photos of these “ Perfect people” everywhere weather its in their bathroom, or bedroom they are suffocating our society as the norm.


Cynthia Pillay | January 29, 2015 at 5:02 pm
I would have to say with utmost certainty that women are usually seen as sexual subjects or objects. I have to preface this by saying women should be able to do what they want with their own bodies and I am in no way saying that they cannot promote their own sexuality but with that being said, major media outlets make it hard for not only the consumer to not compare themselves to what is in the magazines but also diminish the women within said magazines by not promoting any of their accomplishments but rather reducing them to their sexuality. I say that not only because of magazines such as Victoria’s Secret or even Sports Illustrated, which only comes out with a bikini issue just because it can but because of TV ads, billboards, fashion shows, and much, much more. One huge of example is Sports Illustrated, which is one of the magazines that I believe really does exploit women’s sexuality for the pleasure of men. I would believe it would make some sense if any of the women were actually competitive in the sports that Sports Illustrated talks about and is the main reason why it is a magazine. Out of the 28 women on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2014 magazine, only 4 are actual women who are in sports. This magazine is geared towards men and uses women’s sexuality. However, Nike does a similar version called the Body Issue but in this case not only does it include women but also men. It does not shy away from nudity but rather embraces it to show an athlete’s body, not for looks or sexual purposes, but rather from a biological and fitness standpoint, which I believe is what Sports Illustrated should begin to do instead of sexualizing women just because they can.


Danny B. | January 30, 2015 at 5:34 pm
Okay, even before reading this post I came to an assumption from the title that I don’t it would matter to me which one I saw. Then I went along to read the post and I did exactly what the majority of women did. I instantly envied the woman and compared my self to her and unnecessarily hated myself a little. And with the male photo, I was not interested at all and frankly didn’t even want to look at it. Maybe Johnny Depp would have done it. :). But this really made me stop and think why it is that we do that as women. Men don’t compare themselves like we do, as it says they were more concerned about defending their heterosexuality. Women on the other hand will sit there and just stare at other women and nitpick everything they can about themselves or even the other person. Until I started the women’s studies class, i never looked into how society and media standards affect us so much. I just always caught myself critiquing myself in negative ways. I am really interested in this subject and hope to learn alot more and possibly overcome the “norm” feelings we are given when seeing this type of stuff. Thanks.

BroadBlogs | January 30, 2015 at 6:02 pm
You’re welcome! I hope the women’s studies class helps you to understand yourself and society better!



dvitobaldi | February 15, 2016 at 3:42 pm
Whenever I watch television, especially cable, I am always reminded of how much more female nudity there is compared to male nudity. Although there have been more instances of male nudity in recent years, they are quite rare. I think this is due in large part to the fact that most show-runners are straight, white males. I believe that if there were more female show-runners, there would be more equal opportunity for both male and female nudity. I think the reason why there is a lack of male nudity in the media is because men do not want to be seen as objects. When men appear nude they become exposed and that makes them vulnerable. Their bodies become subjects of discussion and are opened up to criticism. In a patriarchal society, women are meant to be the objects, not men. When the roles are suddenly reversed, it is a huge blow to a man’s ego. Even though I think it is important to have “equal opportunity nudity” between the sexes, I also think what women (and men) really want is to have an emotional connection with someone and not just sex. I think the media often forgets that and becomes too focused on just selling sex instead of romance.

BroadBlogs | February 15, 2016 at 8:25 pm
“I think the reason why there is a lack of male nudity in the media is because men do not want to be seen as objects. ”

I think that’s a big part of it. I’ve always been uncomfortable with women being objectified, and it’s because it seems so diminishing, exposing and disrespectful.

Years ago Brigham Young University hosted an exhibit of Rodin’s sculptures. They were fine with the female nudity but were uncomfortable with male nudity.

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