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Friday, July 20, 2012

Funny Urdu Jokes and Poetry


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وزن کم کرنے والی دوائیاں یاتو لوگوں سے بہت زیادہ روپیہ بٹورنے کا ایک ذریہ ھے ھی  اور تو اور یه گردے اور جگر کو فیل کرنے والے ماددوں سے بھرے ھوتے ھیں
مندرجہ ذیل نسخہ صد فیصد محفوظ ھے اور صد فیصد کامیاب بھی


General Motors Slimming weight loss Diet program
No need to spend hard earned money on weight loss drugs and slimming pills, all are making you fool,
This General motors’ diet program is really effective and harmless and 100 percent proven.
The following diet and health program was developed for employees and dependents of General Motors, Inc. and is intended for their exclusive use. This program was developed in conjunction with a grant from U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Food and Drug Administration. It was field tested at the Johns Hopkins Research Centre and was approved for distribution by the Board of Directors, General Motors Corp. at a general meeting on August 15, 1985. General Motors Corp. wholly endorses this program and is making it available to all employees and families. This program will be available at all General Motors Food Service Facilities. It is management's intention to facilitate a wellness and fitness program for everyone.
This program is designed for a target weight loss of 5 to 8 kg per week. It will also improve your attitudes and emotions because of its cleansing systematic effects.
The effectiveness of this seven day plan is that the food eaten burns more calories than they give to the body in caloric value.
This plan can be used as often as you like without any fear of complications. It is designed to flush your system of impurities and give you a feeling of well being. After seven days you will begin to feel lighter because you will be lighter by at least 5 kgs. You will have an abundance of energy and an improved disposition.
During the first seven days you must abstain from all Oily foods.
You must drink 10 glasses of water each day
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You must drink 10 glasses of water each day during these seven days.

Day One All fruits except bananas. Your first day will consist of all the fruits you want. It is strongly suggested that you consume lots of melons the first day. Especially watermelon and a cucumber. If you limit your fruit consumption to melons, your chances of losing three lbs. on first day are very good.
You must drink 10 glasses of water each day.

Day Two All vegetables. You are encouraged to eat until you are stuffed with all the raw or cooked vegetables of your choice. There is no limit on the amount or type. For your complex carbohydrate, you will start day two with a large baked potato for breakfast. You may top the potato with one spoon of butter.
Day Three A mixture of fruits and vegetables of your choice. Any amount, any quantity. No bananas yet. No potatoes today.
Day Four Bananas and milk. Today you will eat as many as eight bananas and drink three glasses of milk. This will be combined with the special soup which may be eaten in limited quantities.
Day Five Today is feast day. You will eat beef and tomatoes. Eat two 10 oz. portions of lean beef. Hamburger is OK. Combine this with six whole tomatoes. On day five you must increase your water intake by one quart. This is to cleanse your system of the uric acid you will be producing.
Day Six Beef and vegetables. Today you may eat an unlimited amount of beef and vegetables. Eat to your heart’s content.
Day Seven Today your food intake will consist of brown rice, fruit juices and all the vegetables you care to consume.
Tomorrow morning you will be 5-9 kgs. lighter than one week ago. If you desire further weight loss, repeat the program again. You may repeat this program as often as you like, however, it is suggested that you are allowed two glasses of fruit juice.
G.M.'S Wonder Soup
The following soup is intended as a supplement to your diet. It can be eaten any time of the day in virtually unlimited quantities. You are encouraged to consume large quantities of this soup.
28 oz, Water, 6 Large Onions, 2 Green Peppers, Whole Tomatoes (fresh or canned), 1 Head Cabbage, 1 Bunch Celery, 4 Envelopes Lipton Onion Soup Mix, Herbs and Flavoring as desired.
Additional Comments
Vegetables as may be taken in the form of a salad if desired. No dressing except malt, white or wine vinegar, squeezed lemon, garlic, herbs. No more than one tea spoon of oil.
 You have been given a recipe for the WONDER SOUP which can be eaten in unlimited quantities. This soup is a supplement while you are on the program and it should be a pleasure to eat. Not everyone likes cabbage, green peppers, calorie etc. This recipe is not inflexible. You may substitute vegetables according to your taste. You may add any vegetables you like: asparagus, peas, corn, turnips, green beans, cauliflower, etc. Try to stay away from beans (lima, pinto, kidney, etc.), however, because they tend to be high in calories even though they are very good for you.
Beverages you may consume while on the program :
  1. Water (flavored with lemon/lime if desired).
  2. Club Soda is OK.
  3. Black Coffee. No cream or cream substitute. No sugar or sweetness.
  4. Black Tea = Herb or Leaf.
  5. Absolutely nothing else except the fruit juices which are part of day seven. No fruit juices before day seven.
How and Why It Works
Day One you are preparing your system for the upcoming program. Your only source of nutrition is fresh or canned fruits. Fruits are nature's perfect food. They provide everything you could possibly want to sustain life except total balance and variety.
Day Two starts with a fix of complex carbo-hydrates coupled with an oil dose. This is taken in the morning for energy and balance. The rest of day two consists of vegetables which are virtually calorie free and provide essential nutrients and fibre.
Day Three eliminates the potato because you get your carbohydrates from the fruits. You system is now prepared to start burning excess pounds. You will still have cravings which should start to diminish by day four.
Day Four, bananas, milk and soup sound the strangest and least desirable. You're in for a surprise. You probably will not eat all the bananas allowed. But they are there for the potassium you have lost and the sodium you may have missed the past three days. You will notice a definite loss of desire for sweets. You will be surprised how easy this day will go.
Day Five, Beef and tomatoes. The beef is for iron and proteins, the tomatoes are for digestion and fiber. Lots and lots of water purifies your system. You should notice colourless urine today. Your allowance calls for the equivalent of five "quarter ponders". Do not feel you have to eat all this beef. You must eat the six tomatoes.
Day Six is similar to day five, Iron and proteins from beef, Vitamins and fibre from vegetables. By now your system is in a total weight loss inclination. There should be a noticeable difference in the way you look today, compared to day one.
Day Seven finished off the program like a good cigar used to finish off Victorian meals, except much healthier. You have your system under control and it should thank you for the flushing and cleaning you just gave it.



You must drink 10 glasses of water each day during these seven days.


Engg. Ishrat Hussain Mohammad


آپکی دعاؤں میں مجھے ضرور یاد رککھیں


 

Engg. Ishrat Hussain M

آپکی دعاؤں میں مجھے ضرور یاد رککھیں










There was a Unit Test Exam. in the Collage for Mathematics, the Question was to EXPAND the Bracket,..







Forgotten Urdu, Arabic, Persian or Farsi number writing system, these numbers were written in old court documents and old coin










Jews and Muslims and Israel

" The jews are the peoples who were living in Islamic countries and nations since when the other nations and peoples hated them, the Roman and Christian persecuted them, The jews were not allowed to enter into the city of Jerusalem in the Roman and later in the Christian Era, but it were muslims who allowed them in Jerusalem, The III rd Caliph Hz. Umar Bin Khattab (RA) and Sultan Salahoddin Ayyubi allowed them to worship in jerusalem, and the Jews were living a prosperous life in the islamic Empire, the turks treated them with nicely, and the Jews flourished in Islamic era, they learned science, medicine, engineering in Islamic Era only, but at last in the beginning of 20 th century Muslims and Jews became victims of the British conspiracy and Muslims started hating them for the small piece of land".

The Land which According to Quran "was for the Jews".


Perhaps This is One of the the biggest mistake of Muslims.

The peoples who had persecuted the jews since millenia became their friends, took hold of their scientific knowledge, developed atomic energy from

the scientific research of jewish scientists, and the peoples who had given the jews shelter for one thousand years in islamic countries became their enemies, this is biggest conspiracy against muslims and jews together.

The British and the Americans and their Christian allies identified the jewish scientists very early and sided with them covertly and sewed the seed of hatred in the hearts of these two children of Abraham.

The peoples who helped and sheltered helpless jews for complate one thousand years in Islamic Empire and the Jews who lived in the Islamic countries fell prey to the satanic conspiracy, now Arab muslims and Israeli Jews are fighting each other because they both have same DNA and brains, they could not realize the conspiracy behind this sewn hatred, the Jewish scientific knowledge has been Stolen and looted by the satanic European allies, and the allies realized the fact, that if muslims and jews who had been favoured and obliged by the muslims became friends then the new atomic knowledge will pass to the ottoman empire and then the ottomans will once again become invincible.




But muslims and Jews both did not realize the satanic conspiracy and for a piece of land both parties became enemies of each other, the jews had never seen any land since millenia, so they became obsessed  even for a very small piece of land and the muslims other hand think at that time that the British are the real friends of Muslims and Islam.



The peoples who Sheltered in difficult times became enemy and those peoples who persecuted the Jews stollen the Fruits of science and technology from the hands of the jews.

The jews, other hand became happy with a torn apart and small piece of land, the example of the jews is just like an infant who becomes quiet when some body inserts a honey nipple (Toothie)  in his mouth.



And this mistake of  Muslims is now became Nasoor of Ummate Rasool Allah (SM), this mistake is the root cause of every cause and problem of muslims, the British sowed a poisonous seed in the heart of Muslims, and now every blame of terrorism and every bad thing is the result of this poisonous seed or its germination."


Now every act of terrorism and every bad thing is created by the enemies of Islam and blamed on muslims, because muslims and jews are enemies, so they can do it.

The present time is not for hatred and enemity, but the present time is to realize the conspiracy and the present time is for peace and justice.

We must forgive each other and we must remember the favors and we must live with wise thinking and in friendship and with confidence.


Now we must realize it, and we must understand it.

Engg. Ishrat Hussain Mohammad.

www.funnyurdutips.blogspot.com





Keep smiling- for further reading click Older Posts
or Home or Newer Posts
This Site is to make you smile all the way, keep browsing, You will find very funny stuff in the following posts total 46 posts are there for your Smile, so plz Click at Older Posts






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